Favorite Book on Writing in Paris

Fitch, Noel Riley. ‘ ” ” ” ” ” ” ‘Walks in Hemingway’s Paris: A Guide to Paris for the Literary Traveler.

Hemingway, Ernest. ‘ ” ” ” ” ” ” ‘A Moveable Feast.

Lee, Jennifer. ‘ ” ” ” ” ” ” ‘Paris in Mind: Three Centuries of Americans Writing about Paris.

Maisel, Eric. ‘ ” ” ” ” ” ” ‘A Writer’s Paris: A Guided Journey for the Creative Soul.

The President of the United States of America!

‘ ” ” ” ” ” ” ‘‘ ‘‘ ” ” ” ‘Election night, November 4, 2008, I watched election returns with friends. We were all overjoyed with the result!

I followed the transition in the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, on television, and in almost daily emails from President-Elect Obama’s transition team.

I was glued to my television from Friday afternoon before the Inauguration until late in the evening of January 20.

The experience was enjoyable, moving, breathtaking, and, above all, a testimony to American democracy and to the resilience of the American spirit.

‘ ” ” ” ” ” ” ‘‘ ‘‘ ” ” ” ‘Throughout the election, the transition, and the inaugural festivities, I’ve thought about my grandnieces, Keiara, 15, and Jada, 3. For Jada and her generation, their first awareness of the President of the United States will be of Barack Obama. For her generation, as ‘ ” ” ” ” ” ” ‘District of Columbia Mayor Adrian M. Fenty observed, “Barack Obama is not the first African-American President of the United States. He’s the President of the United States.”

Recalled to life

‘ ” ” ” ” ” ” ‘‘ ‘‘ ” ” ” ‘“Dad! I checked your blog and you haven’t written anything since April!”

That my daughter, Susan, reads my blog is exciting news. That she expects me to keep it up is high praise.

I don’t blog to introduce guilt into my life. But, in this case, a little guilt may not be a bad thing. Well, let’s not call it guilt. I’ll settle for “awake up call,” instead.

May was busy with end-of-semester activities, graduation, and preparations for a month-long trip to Southern Africa (more about that in subsequent posts).

Since returning from my travels, my blog muse has been unusually silent and I have allowed myself to enjoy uncharacteristically low productivity and to wallow in major self-indulgence—though I suppose some will argue that writing a blog is the ultimate display of self-indulgence.

Thanks to Susan’s not so subtle nudge, I am recalled to life. More to come…

Paying It Forward

Last week, I lost my cell phone. This is not just any cell phone. This is a titanium Blackberry Curve 8300 that receives my email and holds my address book, calendar, to do list, notes, and important information like user IDs and passwords for a slew of online accounts. Discovery of the loss made me ill, not to mention angry at my carelessness.

My first response was to call ATT Wireless where I learned I could disable the phone by going to their web site and clicking on the “Report a Lost/Stolen Phone” link. Next, I changed passwords for accounts I thought might be vulnerable.

Having moved through the initial stages of shock, anger, and denial, getting to acceptance seemed the most reasonable way to handle the situation. I called ATT Wireless again and explored replacement options. Not eligible for an upgrade and without loss/replacement insurance, the cost of a new phone came to nearly $500. Acting as if I were in a state of acceptance, I placed the order.

My home phone rang about 9:30 p.m., just as I was preparing to go to bed. “I’m looking for Dennis,” said a male voice.

“He’s speaking,” I said.

“This is Phil R—. I think I found your cell phone in front of Staples this afternoon. I hope you won’t mind, but I went through your address book looking for a clue to who the owner might be. That’s how I found your number.”

“That’s no problem,” I said. “I’m just happy to know it’s been found.”

“You must be a pretty important guy, cause there’s sure a lot of stuff in there!”

We negotiated a meeting. Fifteen minutes later, I met Phil in the parking lot of Mickey’s Pub, less than a mile from my house. “Wow! Thank you,” I said, as he handed me my phone. “I’m so happy to have it back. This represents quite a loss.”

The following morning, I thought I was probably still in shock when Phil handed me the phone and I had failed to offer him any kid of reward or recognition. After thinking about it all day, I called Phil (his phone number was still on my caller ID).

“This is Dennis, they guy whose cell phone you returned last night. I just wanted to thank you again and to tell you how grateful I am to have it back.”

“You’re welcome, Dennis,” he said. “I appreciate that.”

“Phil, it occurred to me that I really should have offered to do something for….”

“I really don’t want anything,” Phil said, cutting me off.

“I understand,” I said. “I would feel the same way if I had found your phone. It’s the right thing to do.”

“Right,” he said. “I’m fine with that.”

“Well,” I said, “I think one good turn deserves another. I believe in paying it forward and I’d like to do something for you. I can make a contribution to a charity….”

“I don’t want any credit.”

“I’m going to do something, though, and it may as well be something you’d like.”

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll think about it and get back to you.”

“Okay. Thanks,” I said. “I’ll look forward to hearing from you.”

It’s been a week and I haven’t heard from Phil. Last night, talking with my neighbor, Cathy, I told her the story. “I have the perfect thing,” she said. “Safe Grad Night.”

“What a good idea,” I said. “I love that.” I went home and wrote the check.

A Circle of Friends


‘ ‘‘ ” ” ” ‘cof_image.jpgGoogle “circle of friends” and get over 3.6 million hits in less than 0.11 seconds. Everything from kids’ shampoo to support groups for Klippel-Fiel Syndrome, Maeve Binchy’s novel to Mexican imports. Mexican Imports, a web site specializing in rustic antiques and Mexican folk art, touts its “Circle of Friends” candle holder as “the world’s #1 gift.” That a piece of “rustic” Mexican folk art is the world’s number one gift is debatable; friendship is not.

‘ ‘‘ ” ” ” ‘cof_hd_21.jpgHarriet and Don have been a part of my life for over thirty years. Living in Taft, a gritty little town in the southwest corner of California’s San Joaquin Valley, we were drawn together by a mutual love of literature. Over a period of eight years, we organized book discussions, poetry readings, foreign and art film screenings. We produced readers’ theater performances for children and adults, lenten programs featuring liturgical music, drama, and dance. We became friends.

‘ ‘‘ ” ” ” ‘cof_hd_house1.jpgWhen Harriet and Don retired, they moved into their dream home, a New England-style saltbox cottage on a wooded hill adjacent to the California Central Coast. Filled with primitive colonial American antiques, books, music, and memories spanning more than sixty years of married life, their home is a place where ideas are shared, discussed, and appreciated. It’s a place where Harriet and Don enjoy being known simply as “‘ ” ” ” ” ” ” ‘the folks who live on the hill.”

Two years after Harriet and Don retired, a change in career and lifestyle took me to Southern California. Throughout a period in my life I can characterize only as doubt-filled, confused, and tumultuous, I was sustained by Harriet and Don’s steadfast and unquestioning friendship.

Since leaving Taft, we’ve continued to organize annual or semi-annual reunions around particular themes or activities: a play, a music festival, a ballet, a movie, a poetry reading, a meal, simply being together. Regardless of the activity or theme, we’re fond of referring to our gatherings as “w’ot larx” after an exchange between Pip and Joe Gargery in Dickens’s Great Expectations.

‘ ‘‘ ” ” ” ‘cof_dori.jpgDori and I met when I joined a gay and lesbian business networking organization in the San Fernando Valley. Through her gay business partner, having recently lost her beloved son to the AIDS virus, Dori became active in the organization as a way of giving meaning to her life and of dealing with Kirk’s death. Our friendship was instant, organic, and without any question that we were destined to be the closest of friends.

‘ ‘‘ ” ” ” ‘cof_dori_painting2.jpgVivacious, effervescent, and intellectually curious, Dori radiates joie de vivre. Her presence lights up a room. People love her and love to be with her. Dori paints, writes poetry and prose, loves movies and music of all types, enjoys travel, and reads voraciously. “Enthusiasm” describes whatever time we spend together. There is never enough time. While we’re sad when it runs out, we’re always enthusiastic about the next time we’ll be together.

On a Sunday morning over an elegant brunch Dori had prepared, discussing a poem, whatever we were reading, or some idea of importance to both of us at the moment, I proposed that she meet my friends, Harriet and Don. “They’ve experienced the loss of a child, they have a daughter who is a lesbian, and they share your love of literature, art, music, movies, and travel.” Soon after, I arranged a week-end meeting at Harriet and Don’s. The chemistry was perfect and, as I watched it develop over the course of the week-end, I was suffused with gratitude that my intuition had been correct. Gathered in Harriet and Don’s living room to share the poems we’d each selected for the occasion, I recalled seeing on Dori’s patio a piece of crude terra cotta pottery she called “a circle of friends.” It seemed the perfect symbol of the friendship I shared with Harriet and Don and that we now shared with Dori. A few weeks later, an acquaintance returned from a trip to Baja California with several circle of friends candle holders. Coincidence? Synchronicity? I bought two and gave one to Harriet and Don.

By myself at home, when I light my circle of friends candle, I am immediately recalled to “w’ot larx” we’ve enjoyed. Its glow reminds me that the gift of Harriet, Don, and Dori’s friendship not only brightens my life, but that, like the terra cotta figures linked in a circular embrace, it binds me to a shared history and grounds my identity. The gift of my circle of friends enriches my life.

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